How to Help

Listen. Believe. Connect.

Remember: you don’t need to know what to say.  Listen fully, and don’t be distracted by wondering what to say next, how to sort this out, or any of the other thoughts that jump into your mind.  Ignore your inclination to work out something consoling to say.  Just listen. Trust yourself; just like feet move in rhythm to unfamiliar music, when it is time to speak, words will come to you, and they will come from your heart instead of your head.  The task is not to solve, it is simply to listen.

Kathryn Mannix.

It’s hard to see someone we know and often love experiencing hurt and pain. It can be tempting to move quickly to ‘fix it mode.’

We need to pause.
Really listen. With an open heart.  A curious mind.

Believe.  It matters.  For each mighty soul.

Be clear in your heart that harm isn’t about a loss of control rather coercive actions to take control.

Intended to reduce our sense of safety, well being, and ability to act in our own best interest.

It can be one action. It is often a pattern of actions.

Hold on sharing any frustration and judgement you may feel.
Hold on acting on any need you may experience to tell her what to do.

Be clear in your heart how much safety matters.
Make sure you share information about services and supports.
And support each person to make their own decisions.